So, it's weird for a grown man to have a crush, right? Right?
I've been working (and flirting) with a woman for about a year (since shortly after my divorce), and I feel as though I could be with her for a while. I don't know if she's a long-termer, but she's hot, so she could definitely be a short timer. However, I feel like Paula Kirk is way too hot for me. I believe on a personality scale, I'm a 9 or 10, but on looks alone, I'm pulled down. And, therein lies the problem. I have no confidence in myself, so I won't make a move.
Even if I did, though, would it matter. I mean I'm talking about a woman who last weekend, in one night, texted me a photo of her chest and then followed that up with sex with another man. I mean, she obviously knows where I stand in this, and she's taunting me with it.
I can't seem to win on this one. I've been down this teasing road before. More than once. Jenny and Karen both did this same song and dance and drag-along. I finally had to cut ties with both of them, because it was definitely hurting me. Eventually, I'll figure this out, right? Right?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Bored
I'm so bored with work. I need a new challenge. I really like being around my students, but at this point, there is nothing that makes me excited to be here on a daily basis. I feel like I need a new challenge, or at least, a conversation with adults during the day. That is the one thing that I desperately miss. I don't see an adult for longer than a minute between 8 and 3 most days. I wish that I could find a way to get out of the classroom and into another arena, but I've never been one who has been 100% sure how to look for a new job.
This is testing week for the 2nd quarter. Basically, I feel like a babysitter all day instead of just my 2 hour window that I normally feel like that.
And, these kids (at least some of them) say that I am boring. Excuse me? I've always tried to make my room as fun as possible and include material at the same time. I guess you truly can't please all of the people all of the time, but that's ridiculous.
With that in mind, I'm looking for a new avenue to travel professionally. Who knows? Maybe a new professional life could lead to a new personal life. We'll have to see what happens.
This is testing week for the 2nd quarter. Basically, I feel like a babysitter all day instead of just my 2 hour window that I normally feel like that.
And, these kids (at least some of them) say that I am boring. Excuse me? I've always tried to make my room as fun as possible and include material at the same time. I guess you truly can't please all of the people all of the time, but that's ridiculous.
With that in mind, I'm looking for a new avenue to travel professionally. Who knows? Maybe a new professional life could lead to a new personal life. We'll have to see what happens.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is...
Apparently, everything is fearful. This is the realization I came to last night while talking to my friend Matt for several hours last night over drinks. I've looked at it as just going with the flow for so long, but I know that I don't try things because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid to go after a new job because I might not have anything to fall back on. I'm afraid to go back to school because I may not be able to afford it. I'm afraid to make attempts to go out with women because they may say no and I'll be embarrassed. It's not good, and I need to figure out a way to overcome fear. Easier said than done, though. But, a thousand-mile journey begins with one step...or something like that.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Simpson Sentenced
O.J. Simpson was sentenced to "at least 15 years" in prison today. It's about time! He should have been put away thirteen years ago when he was on trial for murder. However, he wasn't because so much evidence was thrown out. This time, that couldn't happen. It was all on tape. That bastard couldn't get away with this one, and I hope he dies in prison. He doesn't deserve the freedom that we are given in this country.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Big Pigskin Weekend
I've got to write something about the college football games going on this weekend. Since I used to work in sports broadcasting, I'm a little interested in the subject obviously (I mean this blog might even be my way of getting back into media).
Army vs. Navy - a game with tons of history, and I've got to guess not a ton of viewers. I don't know about anyone else, but I've never sat down to watch this game. Neither of these programs is a national power, and I don't care about them. Why does CBS still broadcast it? Are people buying into the pageantry and the rivalry. I've got news for viewers, in order to be a rivalry, doesn't there have to be balance. Navy has won 8 of the last 10 between the two, and I'm going to guess will roll past Army this year. I know overall, the series is close, but it's two programs going in different directions. Additionally, it's just boring football. Who runs the triple option anymore? I know Georgia Tech does, and Air Force, too, but this is a day and age of spread offenses. I know that these programs may not get the athletes that other programs do because of their requirements during school and after graduation, so maybe they can't grow with the times. That's just one more reason that I can't watch this match-up.
ACC Championship - talk about a let down of a conference. With Florida State, Miami, and Boston College coming in a few years ago, this was supposed to ruin basketball in the conference, but push football to a new high. Think about it, the ACC has Virginia Tech, Florida State, Miami, Boston College, Virginia, Wake Forest (a disappointment the last two years after their Orange Bowl run) and some other schools on the rise like Maryland, North Carolina, Georgia Tech, Clemson, and NC State (my apologies for listing everyone but Duke, but they don't care, basketball season started already). They should be a dominant conference. Instead, they're starting to move closer to the Big Ten and Big East than the SEC or Big 12. It's sad, really. Hopefully, Butch Davis can bring UNC further along so that someone can challenge VA Tech in the Coastal division. Georgia Tech should keep coming along, too, but it's just like Army/Navy. I don't think that without a threat of a passing game, they'll be able to do too much in the long run, but we'll see. Let's just hope this game is competitive. Otherwise, we'll have our second straight blowout, and our third relatively boring ACC game in four years.
USC/UCLA - I find it interesting that Pete Carroll chose to give up timeouts to wear red. There's got to be two reasons for this. The one that Pete is saying publicly is that it's for tradition. I've got no problem with that. In fact, the color mix of red and blue on the field should look really cool. The second reason is the one that I think Pete is thinking but not saying. "We're going to kick UCLA's ass. We won't even need timeouts." He's probably right, there.
Big 12 Championship - pack your bags for Miami, Bob Stoops. You're going to play for the national championship. In 2007, Mizzou lost two games, both to Oklahoma. This year's Missouri team isn't as good. The Tigers don't stand a chance against the speed of OU's offense. Have you seen what they've done the past two weeks. It's amazing. How Texas beat them, I don't know. Oh yeah, Texas should be in this game, but the BCS has reared it's ugly head once again.
SEC Championship - this game is being played in the middle of the day's schedule, but it should be the highlighted game of the day. There is nothing better than a good 1 vs 2 match-up (not in the BCS standings, of course). Now that I've said that, though, I'm sure it will be a blow-out. I expect Florida to win, but without Harvin in the line-up, it won't be by a wide margin. Maybe Alabama will surprise me and win, but again, this comes down to speed, and I don't think the Tide have enough to keep up.
So, predictions:
Army vs. Navy - Navy, big
ACC Championship - Virginia Tech
USC/UCLA - USC, big
Big 12 - Oklahoma, big
SEC - Florida
BCS Championship - Florida vs. Oklahoma
Rose Bowl Game - Penn State vs. USC
Orange Bowl - Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati
Sugar Bowl - Alabama vs. Texas
Fiesta Bowl - Utah vs. Ohio State
We'll see, I guess...I could be completely wrong.
Army vs. Navy - a game with tons of history, and I've got to guess not a ton of viewers. I don't know about anyone else, but I've never sat down to watch this game. Neither of these programs is a national power, and I don't care about them. Why does CBS still broadcast it? Are people buying into the pageantry and the rivalry. I've got news for viewers, in order to be a rivalry, doesn't there have to be balance. Navy has won 8 of the last 10 between the two, and I'm going to guess will roll past Army this year. I know overall, the series is close, but it's two programs going in different directions. Additionally, it's just boring football. Who runs the triple option anymore? I know Georgia Tech does, and Air Force, too, but this is a day and age of spread offenses. I know that these programs may not get the athletes that other programs do because of their requirements during school and after graduation, so maybe they can't grow with the times. That's just one more reason that I can't watch this match-up.
ACC Championship - talk about a let down of a conference. With Florida State, Miami, and Boston College coming in a few years ago, this was supposed to ruin basketball in the conference, but push football to a new high. Think about it, the ACC has Virginia Tech, Florida State, Miami, Boston College, Virginia, Wake Forest (a disappointment the last two years after their Orange Bowl run) and some other schools on the rise like Maryland, North Carolina, Georgia Tech, Clemson, and NC State (my apologies for listing everyone but Duke, but they don't care, basketball season started already). They should be a dominant conference. Instead, they're starting to move closer to the Big Ten and Big East than the SEC or Big 12. It's sad, really. Hopefully, Butch Davis can bring UNC further along so that someone can challenge VA Tech in the Coastal division. Georgia Tech should keep coming along, too, but it's just like Army/Navy. I don't think that without a threat of a passing game, they'll be able to do too much in the long run, but we'll see. Let's just hope this game is competitive. Otherwise, we'll have our second straight blowout, and our third relatively boring ACC game in four years.
USC/UCLA - I find it interesting that Pete Carroll chose to give up timeouts to wear red. There's got to be two reasons for this. The one that Pete is saying publicly is that it's for tradition. I've got no problem with that. In fact, the color mix of red and blue on the field should look really cool. The second reason is the one that I think Pete is thinking but not saying. "We're going to kick UCLA's ass. We won't even need timeouts." He's probably right, there.
Big 12 Championship - pack your bags for Miami, Bob Stoops. You're going to play for the national championship. In 2007, Mizzou lost two games, both to Oklahoma. This year's Missouri team isn't as good. The Tigers don't stand a chance against the speed of OU's offense. Have you seen what they've done the past two weeks. It's amazing. How Texas beat them, I don't know. Oh yeah, Texas should be in this game, but the BCS has reared it's ugly head once again.
SEC Championship - this game is being played in the middle of the day's schedule, but it should be the highlighted game of the day. There is nothing better than a good 1 vs 2 match-up (not in the BCS standings, of course). Now that I've said that, though, I'm sure it will be a blow-out. I expect Florida to win, but without Harvin in the line-up, it won't be by a wide margin. Maybe Alabama will surprise me and win, but again, this comes down to speed, and I don't think the Tide have enough to keep up.
So, predictions:
Army vs. Navy - Navy, big
ACC Championship - Virginia Tech
USC/UCLA - USC, big
Big 12 - Oklahoma, big
SEC - Florida
BCS Championship - Florida vs. Oklahoma
Rose Bowl Game - Penn State vs. USC
Orange Bowl - Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati
Sugar Bowl - Alabama vs. Texas
Fiesta Bowl - Utah vs. Ohio State
We'll see, I guess...I could be completely wrong.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Fireman / Why you should never talk
I was astonished this morning to learn of The Fireman. Apparently, this is an experiment that started in 1993 with electronica music.
Why was I astonished? Well, first, let me say this...I was outraged. See, the main member of this musical trial, aside from Youth, is one of my favorite musicians, Sir Paul McCartney. I know that after the Beatles broke up, Paul's been hit-or-miss with his music, but overall, I've always loved his entire catalog of music. This was bordering on terrible. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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Now, I have a very open relationship with my students. I teach social studies, so I feel that the discussion has to be frank and open to really get an understanding of what happened, why it happened, and most importantly, how it applies today.
Well, occasionally, that carries over into discussing our personal lives. I have a big mouth. I told a student to say hi to a teacher for me, which the student, as a 14-year-old girl would, turned it into me liking this teacher (while I'll admit I'm very attracted to her, I've never really looked at this as a dating option). So, today, she took it upon herself to ask this woman out for me. Fantastic! That's just going to create what I feel will be the most awkward situation ever at work. Yay-rah.
Never talk. It can only lead to bad stuff. And this from a guy who used to work in radio and talked all the time.
Why was I astonished? Well, first, let me say this...I was outraged. See, the main member of this musical trial, aside from Youth, is one of my favorite musicians, Sir Paul McCartney. I know that after the Beatles broke up, Paul's been hit-or-miss with his music, but overall, I've always loved his entire catalog of music. This was bordering on terrible. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, I have a very open relationship with my students. I teach social studies, so I feel that the discussion has to be frank and open to really get an understanding of what happened, why it happened, and most importantly, how it applies today.
Well, occasionally, that carries over into discussing our personal lives. I have a big mouth. I told a student to say hi to a teacher for me, which the student, as a 14-year-old girl would, turned it into me liking this teacher (while I'll admit I'm very attracted to her, I've never really looked at this as a dating option). So, today, she took it upon herself to ask this woman out for me. Fantastic! That's just going to create what I feel will be the most awkward situation ever at work. Yay-rah.
Never talk. It can only lead to bad stuff. And this from a guy who used to work in radio and talked all the time.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Like sands through the hourglass...
So, I am a teacher. I teach middle school social studies, primarily, but, for some reason, this year, I have been given an additional duty of overseeing a Study Island class. What a boring class! It basically consists of a group of students (one group is made of 7th and 8th grade students and the other of 6th graders) sitting at computers and reading selections and answering questions. Great times! This is one of those reasons that I'm bored with my job. I love teaching social studies, don't get me wrong, but this two-hour block - set up by a new law in Arizona - is ridiculous. But, that's just my opinion. I just feel like a glorified babysitter. At least I'm not teaching language arts this year.
Meanwhile, I'm about two weeks short of being single for a full year. It was right before the Steve Preis Christmas blow-out that Cari decided that she was done in our marriage. So, next weekend, when I go back to Preis' house, it will be a sort of anniversary.
It's Cari's birthday today, too, by the way. It's weird to see life from the point of view of a single man at 28. I was with her since basically my 21st birthday, so my adulthood is skewed. Anyway, happy 27th birthday to the woman who is so talented, so giving to most people, but never really made me feel like I was good enough for her abilities. I just didn't measure up.
So, in the past year, I've been searching for another relationship, but it's just not clicking. Three dates, three different women, no second date, no ANYTHING. It's weird to be at this point of my life and having no idea what I'm doing. But, I feel that's the case with women, work, etc. It's awesome to be a 28-year-old with no direction. At least a woman that I've been talking to who's going through a divorce said that she was depressed, too. I'm coming out of my funk, but I understand where she's coming from.
Finally, I am coaching basketball again this year. I took last year off, and I, at times, have thought that was a good idea, and at times, I've thought it was bad. Either way, I'm coaching again this year, and it ain't looking too good. I'm scared that we're going to lose every game this year. Awesome! I'm glad this won't be a waste of my time.
Meanwhile, I'm about two weeks short of being single for a full year. It was right before the Steve Preis Christmas blow-out that Cari decided that she was done in our marriage. So, next weekend, when I go back to Preis' house, it will be a sort of anniversary.
It's Cari's birthday today, too, by the way. It's weird to see life from the point of view of a single man at 28. I was with her since basically my 21st birthday, so my adulthood is skewed. Anyway, happy 27th birthday to the woman who is so talented, so giving to most people, but never really made me feel like I was good enough for her abilities. I just didn't measure up.
So, in the past year, I've been searching for another relationship, but it's just not clicking. Three dates, three different women, no second date, no ANYTHING. It's weird to be at this point of my life and having no idea what I'm doing. But, I feel that's the case with women, work, etc. It's awesome to be a 28-year-old with no direction. At least a woman that I've been talking to who's going through a divorce said that she was depressed, too. I'm coming out of my funk, but I understand where she's coming from.
Finally, I am coaching basketball again this year. I took last year off, and I, at times, have thought that was a good idea, and at times, I've thought it was bad. Either way, I'm coaching again this year, and it ain't looking too good. I'm scared that we're going to lose every game this year. Awesome! I'm glad this won't be a waste of my time.
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